Writing Balanced Romantic Power Dynamics in Fantasy

Why “supportive” shouldn’t mean submissive, and how to let both leads stand in their full power

In romantasy and fantasy romance, we love a heroine who rises.

She earns her magic. She masters her mind. She faces gods, monsters, trauma, and kingdoms. She’s the blade and the storm, and she gets stronger every time someone tries to break her.

But somewhere along the way, fantasy writers started doing something troubling with their male leads:

They started defanging them.

To let the heroine shine, the love interest becomes:

• Emotionally dependent

• Stripped of his agency

• Constantly praising but never challenging her

• An accessory to her power, not a partner in it

The result? A romance where one person rises, and the other stands still.

Let’s talk about how to avoid that.

Because romantic balance in fantasy doesn’t come from softening the hero, it comes from letting both characters be sharp in different ways.

First: What Does Balanced Power Look Like?

A healthy romantic power dynamic doesn’t mean both characters are equally strong in the same ways.

It means:

• Both have value in the world of the story

• Both are emotionally complete characters, with internal arcs

• Their power interacts rather than competes

• There is tension, challenge, and respect, not just admiration

They don’t need to be equals in magic, title, or physical strength.

But they do need to see each other as whole, and worthy.

How to Build That Balance

Let’s break down what works, and how you can do it in your own writing.

1. Give Them Different Strengths

Your heroine might be the chosen one, the war mage, the queen in exile. Amazing.

But don’t erase the male lead’s relevance. Give him:

• A different kind of power (strategy, politics, restraint)

• Emotional intelligence she hasn’t developed yet

• A skillset she lacks, and needs to learn to trust

• A worldview that complicates hers

This creates tension, partnership, and layered romantic dynamics.

Rowan Whitethorn doesn’t compete with Aelin’s firepower, he challenges her to lead with purpose, not just force.

2. Let Him Support and Push Her

Support doesn’t mean stepping aside.

Support means:

• Holding space for her fear

• Challenging her when she avoids hard truths

• Trusting her power without needing to control it

• Asking questions that force her to think deeper

The MMC should never soften for the FMC. He should respect her choices, even when they terrify him. Their tension can come from trauma, trust, and power meeting resistance.

Let your hero support her rise without surrendering his perspective.

3. Preserve His Agency

Too many male love interests in fantasy are powerful until they fall in love.

Then suddenly, they:

• Exist only in reaction to the heroine

• Have no goals of their own

• Get sidelined during key battles or political plots

• Lose their edge for the sake of romantic softness

Let him:

• Make choices that affect the world

• Struggle with his own fears, flaws, and purpose

• Disagree with the heroine without becoming a villain

• Have his own enemies, wounds, loyalties

Fantasy worlds are high-stakes. Let him stay dangerous, even if he’s also emotionally open.

4. Romantic Tension Comes From Power Friction, Not Power Flattening

Let them:

• Clash on moral grounds

• Wound each other (emotionally)

• Test each other’s limits

• Question each other’s plans

Friction is where growth and passion happen.

Let them respect each other, but also challenge each other.

Hunt Athalar questions Bryce’s choices, calls her out, and still kneels emotionally to her growth. That’s real balance.

5. He Should Still Want Something

Desire equals drive, which equals depth.

If the male lead’s only motivation becomes “whatever’s good for her,” his character collapses.

Ask:

• What does he want beyond the romance?

• What would he sacrifice for his cause?

• What does he fear will happen if he loses control?

A love interest with no emotional compass of his own isn’t a partner, he’s a mirror.

The best romantic arcs come when both people are pulled by different things, and have to decide what they’ll give up (or become) to stay together.

Don’t Write Her Rise By Diminishing Him

Strong women don’t need weak men. They need men (or masc characters) who are:

• Self-possessed

• Emotionally complex

• Powerful in their own right

• Brave enough to stand beside, not ahead or behind

Your heroine’s light shines brighter when it’s reflected off someone who sees all of her, and stays sharp anyway.

Let him hurt. Let him fight. Let him grow.

And when they choose each other, make it not about who stood down.

But who stood strong together.